A woman who says she felt ‘like a freak’ and barely left the house for years because of her 38L breasts has been working through her confidence issues after finding support on TikTok.
Wearing a 38G cup for most of her life, Lucy Luxor, 35, says she was used to weathering uncomfortable stares and vulgar comments, but when her breasts reached a 38L after her daughter Molly was born in 2016, she became so anxious she would not even brave the supermarket.
But after years of hiding away, when Molly, five, started school last year, fellow mums and partner Mark, 50, persuaded her to start venturing out again.
Lucy said: ‘After I gave birth to Molly, I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I couldn’t even walk down the street without people staring at me.
‘For a good two and a half years, I didn’t go out unless it was to care for an elderly family friend at the weekend – but I would literally get in the car, go to the house, then come straight back again.
‘But when Molly started at her village school, I met so many lovely parents. They encouraged me to come to the park after school and do more things with Molly and them.
‘These people have made me feel so comfortable going out that even if I do get anxious, they don’t hold it against me. They are so supportive.’
Lucy, of South Somerset, has to get fortnightly massages to ease the strain on her back. She’s been struggling with the weight of her breasts since hitting puberty at 14 and going from a B to an E cup in a matter of months.
‘I have always felt like a freak to be honest,’ Lucy said.
‘It was awful at school. I would get chased to the bus stop by a certain lad who was obsessed with me.
‘It would get me attention when I was younger and sometimes I would take advantage of that, but having massive boobs is not all it’s cracked up to be.’
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Then, when Molly refused to breastfeed, Lucy’s bra size soared to a 38L, adding to the physical pain she was already experiencing.
‘I have back pain every day, but some days, I physically cannot walk because I am in agony,’ added Lucy.
The mum-of-one also says her breasts make a long list of everyday tasks a struggle – from sleeping to cleaning and cooking.
Lucy joked: ‘I made the mistake of going to bed naked one night – instead of wearing pyjamas. I just rolled over a bit too quickly and I got slapped in the face by my boob, like being hit by a heavy pillow!
‘I can’t sleep on my back or front, so I always have to sleep on my side to be comfortable.
‘Even peeling potatoes or washing up is really painful because I have to lean over. And when my daughter wants to be picked up, she has to sit on top of my boobs instead of my hip, because she wouldn’t be able to fit on it.’
Aside from struggling to buy bras and clothes that fit both her bottom and top halves, Lucy also experiences pain in her breasts when the weather changes.
She said: ‘My boobs really, really hurt when it gets cold, because they are so far away from my body that my body doesn’t bother to send blood there.
‘It feels like they are being stabbed or pinched really hard. I try to keep them as warm or use things like hot water bottles.’
People often suggest Lucy lose weight to reduce the size of her chest, but since losing 17kg during lockdown and not even a centimetre from her breasts, she’s not convinced it can be done.
While Lucy would like to have a breast reduction one day and dreams of having C or D-cup breasts, it is not something she feels able to do at the moment. Recovery from surgery like this generally takes around six weeks – not something a busy mum can bank on.
She’s also coming to terms with herself as time goes on, thanks to support from her mum friends and a major confidence boost via TikTok.
‘It’s crazy, my first video has had 2.9 million views,’ she said.
‘What’s nice though is the reaction has mainly been from other women who are struggling with the same issue, or can relate to it. Even women at the other end of the scale with tiny breasts have joked that they will never complain again about having small boobs.
‘I’m all about female empowerment and feeling better about ourselves and it has definitely helped me to not feel so alone.’
Lucy hopes her story will resonate with people and help them see the importance of improving self esteem.
‘I want other women who are unhappy with their bodies to know that it’s not always greener on the other side,’ she said.
‘Even if they decide to get a reduction or bigger boobs, to know that it doesn’t mean they won’t still have issues or it will solve the mental health side of it.
‘We just need to be happier in ourselves.’
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