Although you may be in love and may be in a loving committed relationship, the way two people sleep together isn’t always harmonious. And getting a bad night’s rest can contribute to problems in the relationship. Snoring, stealing the covers, or sleeping in opposing positions can all be issues in the bedroom (via Good Housekeeping). Going about your day cranky and sleep-deprived can make climbing into bed with your beau seem less romantic than when you first jumped under the sheets. Dr. Mehmet Oz told Today, “If you’re not taking care of your sleep, you are hurting your marriage. The biggest challenge is people have to plan ahead.” If this is happening to you, a “sleep divorce” may be the answer to some of your sleep-time ailments, because not getting enough shut-eye is not good for your body or your relationship.
Slumber Cloud found that one in 12 American couples have practiced sleep divorce, and 30 percent have discussed it with one another. Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, has slept in a separate room from her husband for 15 years. She told Good Housekeeping, “Hundreds of thousands of couples are heading to separate rooms each night and enjoying a full life, and great relationships, because they get a good night’s sleep each night.”
A sleep divorce can take away resentment
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that adults aged 18 to 60 should get at least seven hours of sleep every night. In 2016, a study found that relationship problems and sleep issues can influence one another. If you want your relationship to remain consistent and happy, a sleep divorce may be the best option. According to Today, getting a sleep divorce can ensure you have your own personal space, get a good night’s rest, and also get to miss each other a little bit.
Psychotherapist Ken Page said (via The New York Times), “Some couples feel strongly that sleeping apart has made their relationship more solid. I have worked with couples who have said that not having to worry about their sleep being disturbed was such a relief that it allowed them to appreciate the good things in their relationship and lifted any resentment they may have felt in the past.” Even if it’s just for one night, taking some time apart with your live-in spouse or partner can result in a positive outcome for your relationship.
Discuss this option with your partner, listen to one another, and communicate all concerns. Sleeping separately does not mean your relationship is doomed. It only means you’re willing to work on a healthier, happier, and restful relationship together.
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