How to start conversations on mental health with someone you're worried about

Mental Health Awareness week is upon us, so it’s a good time to ask: is there anyone I’m worried about?

We can’t be counsellors for our nearest and dearest, but we can let them know we’re there and care.

At best, we can get a conversation going that might show someone they aren’t alone – or even help them see that they may need further help and support.

The number of adults experiencing depression and anxiety is still up on pre-pandemic levels, and there is an an estimated 1.6 million people waiting to access mental health support on the NHS.

Boots’ chief pharmacist, Marc Donovan, says: ‘Many people find it uncomfortable talking about their mental health and aren’t sure who to reach out to or how to start a conversation about their mental health.

‘Talking about how you are feeling or talking to those you are concerned about is always going to be a good first step but it is often the hardest.

‘In fact, pharmacists at Boots have said that for many patients that come into the pharmacy to ask for mental health support, it is the first time they have opened up about how they are feeling.’

You can attempt to get the conversation going, with Marc’s tips.

Ask twice

You need to push past the automatic response.

Marc says: ‘People’s first response to “how are you?” almost always is “I’m fine” or “I’m good”.

‘If you are concerned about someone close to you, try asking them how they feel twice which could lead to a more in-depth and honest response.’

Forget the ‘perfect’ moment

There’s never a ‘right’ time for these conversations.

Marc says: ‘Whether you want to open up about how you are feeling or want to start a conversation with someone else, as long as you and the other person feel comfortable, and the timing and setting is appropriate, it might be worth starting the conversation to avoid delaying it.

‘It is also worthwhile considering initiating the conversation via text message if you think a face-to-face chat could be difficult.’

Talk about yourself

If you’re comfortable, that is.

‘Opening up about your own feelings or experience of mental health can be an effective way to open a two-way conversation to share experiences,’ Marc explains.

‘Even sharing a feeling or worry could allow others to feel safe opening up to you in return.’

Rebuild a connection

Marc suggests: ‘Try reaching out to someone you know who might be feeling lonely and make an effort to connect with them.

‘Make regular contact and keep in touch with them or try some new fun activities together to strengthen your connection.

‘It may be difficult for people experiencing loneliness to respond to your friendly contact at first, so be patient and kind.’

Don’t be afraid of professionals

Sometimes gentle encouragement can help.

Marc says: ‘Many people struggle taking that first step to getting professional help because they do not know where to turn to first or whether their mental health concerns should be discussed with a healthcare professional.

‘I would encourage anyone who is worried to pop in to see their local pharmacist, who can listen to their concerns and signpost to specialist services that may be helpful.

‘Your GP is also there to help you with mental health concerns.’

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